He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
