lets start a swedish sibling band together
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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