He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize