I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
