Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
