you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
