who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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