I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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