do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
