woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
