my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
