I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
