ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
