We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
