She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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