So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
birth control should be required to get into college
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
