Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
