You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize