Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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