I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
