I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
