Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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