If i come over, it means nothing
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
