I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need moral support for this bender
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
