I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
