Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
