you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Who wears a wallet chain?!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
