I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
