Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
