I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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