i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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