nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
