We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
