Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I came so hard my ears popped.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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