I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
