Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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