i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
how drunk are you?
Several
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
