he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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