at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize