Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
