He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize