I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Randomize
