you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
