you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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