dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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