you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
