So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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