You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
