Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize