Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
