I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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