fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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