The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
