It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
