Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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