In America we eat man semen.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
