Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize