have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
only if we run a train.
done.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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